Recently, I lost my mother to a wretched disease called Alzheimer’s. Even when she was fully aware of her mind before this, she had too many areas of her life that she buried in shame and a lack of trusting others. She did not know boundaries and accountability in her life to live a wholehearted life. What she did was to pass it onto her children to be accountable to her, and not to ourselves, by her shaming us to protect her dark sides of being. With this lack of understanding of our soul’s innate wholeness, as we grew into adulthood, we lost the ability to love and trusting ourselves fully so we could be fully present for others. Ultimately, we lost in childhood the natural beauty of self we were born with and about sharing with others our feelings of imperfection and hiding our true selves. We are here for a reason. Finding what that is before leaving this world would be a journey inward. It is scary, but worth the time and effort.
Now that my mother is gone, I feel a sense of a loss and freedom too. I feel myself trying to search for others who may want to truly share their true feelings and experiences of their lack of childhood experiences of loving kindness, compassionate understanding and trusting nature of other humans without being manipulated, ridiculed or judged by another. I know deep down there is a place I can call home.
For that to happen, things need to be put in place like nourishing the body and mind with good vitamins and minerals from the earth, deep sleep, etc., and finding the fully present human beings. We all want that. How to get all we want is to have the courage to step out of our negativity of the self-talk of the ego and to step fully into sharing our love and kindness to the world no matter what the other person in your past has said or done to you. Letting go and accepting what is, is the journey of a lifetime.